Mathurs

For me to classify Mathurs can be tricky; for the simple reason, that one tends to see only the very obvious when one is within the faction. And this by no means would be an honest account. So, this is a very sincere effort to classify Mathurs, which would reflect the true picture to an average reader without being fallacious, at the same time being true to Mathurs as well. Now, I am no Rahul Dravid whose name is synonymous with the word perfect. I would say, I rather belong to the Khushwant Singh school of thought. Thus, deviating from the normal practice of classifying Mathurs in terms of gotra or place of birth, I will use lifestyle as a canvas to depict Mathurs, which I believe would be more appropriate and just.

The most abundant form of Mathurs is those whom I call the Old World Brahmins. Their life can best be described as a palindrome. It follows a fixed pattern. They begin from scratch, rise to an ultimate high and then gradually end, though not in oblivion. Even when you trace their lives from the twilight to the dawn, it’s just the same. Flawless. The characteristic feature of this kind is that even after retiring from their active life, they remain somewhere in the background, motivating and inspiring. The other prominent form of Mathurs is the High Fliers (not literally but symbolically). Their life can be compared to metaphors and similes. “Lives like a king” is “the” simile which defines them. There is only a thin line which demarcates the two kinds, but that line is a well marked one.

On a typical Sunday, an Old World Brahmin will wake up at six in the morning, bathe, do his puja and head straight to the sabji mandi to buy fruits and vegetables which will last a week. Coming back, he will go through every square inch of the main newspaper, especially the editorial and sports section and all the supplements with maybe four glasses of tea, have aloo - puri in breakfast, sitting on the age old diwan in the drawing room. Lunch will either be at some relative’s place or with a relative at his place. The more adventurous of Old World Brahmins might visit C.P..

On the other hand, a High Flier will wake up only when he realizes that the neighborhood meat shop is about to resemble a tsunami struck shack. Vegetables can be bought the next day at som bazaar and fruits from the vendors standing bang outside the apartments. Anyways, couple of hundred rupees won’t make much of a difference to him. Bathing on a Sunday is sin. Brunch at noon will include a voluptuous looking kaliya. Social life is reserved for the night. It could be a khana at in – laws complemented by drinks or a drive to India Gate with family, followed by dinner at Embassy, Kwality or United Coffee House. Karim’s and Galena are hot favorites with bachelor Mathurs of this kind.

A Mathur shaadi will give more insight to these two kinds. During the mehendi ceremony Old World Brahmins would be seen giving inaam to High Fliers, who had composed, sung and danced on a brilliant mehendi on the latest Anu Malik composition. On the morning of the shaadi, High Fliers will carry the faireesht, on which the introduction of the Old World Brahmins will be majestically written and decorated. The barat will have an Old World Brahmin sing shehera while High Fliers will be seen removing their coats to match their moves with the real world Complan-boy, the tashe wala. During the phereh, both kinds would be enjoying their third peg of Scotch, though Old World Brahmins would be enjoying boiled eggs and dry fruits, the High Fliers would be requesting the panditji to hurry up. In short, Old World Brahmins believe the best thing that can happen to them is their son getting a government job and the best thing that can happen to a High Flier is zero percent home loans.

Move over to the second classification of Mathurs now. In simple words, there are two types of Mathurs in this case also. There are Mathurs who drink and then there are those who drink heavily. A third type just does not exist. I mean, yes, religion, superstition and by-pass surgeries have resulted in a sect of Mathurs who do not drink, but the number of Mathurs in this sect is proportional only to people who hate to see Sachin Tendulkar bat. Mathurs are heavy drinkers. No Mathur party is complete without a round of drinks, at least. As a child I used to think Johnny Walker is some distant relative. It was only with the advent of Rupert Murdoch’s empire that I got enlightenment. We might not know the technical difference between Krug Vintage 1995 and Appy Fizz, but we surely know how to enjoy and relish Chivas Regal.

The beauty with Mathurs is, though they very strongly believe in pleasure-is-sin ascetism they do not buy the theory of sin-is-in liberalism. This gives the whole community a vibrant spirit with a stable mind. I have never come across an occasion where drinks have had any adverse effect. The balance is impeccable.

To grow, every community needs to reinvent or stabilize itself with every generation. Where Mathurs have scored so far is in the process of passing the baton to the next generation in an effective and efficient manner. Despite being populated with people of different kinds viz. Old World Brahmins and High Fliers, what we have maintained is the harmony to live in peace with each other. If you take a closer look at the shaadi wala example, you will realize how very much the High Fliers are contributing, though superficially it looks as if they are doing nothing. By singing and dancing they are not just celebrating but also infusing a certain zeal, cutting barriers within the community and highlighting the very spirit of being a Mathur. They are the ambassadors of our families when they carry the faireesht, entrusted by the Old World Brahmins themselves. And the common thread which binds them all is Johnny Walker.






March 11, 2006